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What I imagine a spammer looks like in person. Bushy tail and Beady eyes included! |
Lately (and by lately, I mean in the last couple of months), there has been a spike in the amount of spam comments I receive daily. I have no idea why this has happened or what is going on, but I know I am not alone. I suspect this is specific to Blogger though, because Wordpress
While I silently pray that this spamming episode will pass away soon, I have had moments when I imagined myself punishing spammers for this rubbish.
If I was a senior girl and spammers were my juniors, I would sentence ... sorry command them to do 10,000 frog jumps.
Oya jump, jump, jumpology ...
If they can still walk after that, then I would give them my all-time favorite self-inflicted punishment: slapping yourself.
Raise your hand if you were ever told to slap yourself by anyone older than you or just in authority over you.
*Relentless raises both hands*
Aha! I knew I wasn't alone.
Anyway, I would say to each spammer: "Oya, slap yourself," lean back and enjoy the satisfaction of watching them comply.
For my mind sha ...
The problem with my fantasy is that I can't decide how many times to tell a spammer to slap himself (or herself). Truthfully, I hope the frog jumps would have done their work.
*turns to spammer*: "You still dey look me? My friend, slap yourself. Nonsense!"
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